Coming Home to Myself: A Nurse’s Journey to Healing, Surrender, and Authentic

As an ER nurse and police wife, I’ve spent years living in a constant state of high alert—serving others, staying strong, hyper-independence and pushing through. I thought that was what strength looked like: keep going, don’t complain, don’t crack. But life has a way of bringing you to your knees when you most need to slow down and listen.

Years ago, during my journey of trying to get pregnant, I had unexpected and humbling disruption. A Brain MRI revealed a large disrupting pituitary tumor that required immediate surgical resection. I recovered, and life moved forward. But I never really paused to heal the emotional weight of it. Years later, after being blessed with two beautiful healthy children, and a move into a bigger home with property, and a series of life challenges, I faced six weeks of radiation that brought me to the edge physically and spiritually. It was there, in that raw and tender space, that I reached my breaking point—and finally my breakthrough.

In that season, I felt God inviting me to stop striving and surrender. To relinquish the illusion of control. To return to Him—not in performance, but in relationship. I began to prune back the noise, the distractions, the unhealthy patterns and identities I had clung to: perfectionism, people-pleasing, suffering in silence, and being the hero of my own story! They served me for awhile, but I was ready to walk away from the lies.

I started asking, Who am I beneath all that?And slowly, I began to hear the answer.

Learning to Be Still—and Be Me

My nervous system had been in fight-or-flight for years. I started noticing the signs—tight chest, tension headaches, racing thoughts. I realized I wasn’t just physically exhausted—I was emotionally and spiritually depleted. That’s when I began to explore real, embodied practices that helped me reset and reconnect—with God, with myself, with peace.

Simple Practices that Changed Everything

• Grounding in Nature: Standing barefoot on the earth, breathing deeply, feeling the sun—these moments became sacred pauses to realign with God’s presence.

• Somatic Mindfulness: I began to notice what my body was trying to say. I no longer ignored tension; I met it with compassion.

• Breathwork (4-7-8): Breath became prayer. Each inhale and exhale a quiet surrender.

• Tapping (EFT): A gentle tool to release emotions I didn’t even realize I was carrying.

• Self-Hugs & Dancing: Ways to reconnect to joy, comfort, and the truth that I am worthy of love—not just for what I do, but for who I am.

• Screaming into a Pillow (yes, really!): Because sometimes healing is messy. And that’s okay.

Returning to God, Reclaiming Myself

This healing journey wasn’t just about stress relief—it was about coming back to who God created me to be. I started letting go of the lie that I had to do it all alone, that vulnerability was weakness, or that silence made me strong. Instead, I began choosing truth over performance, connection over perfection.

Through prayer, worship, reading my Bible, reflection, and intentional stillness; along with several coaching courses, mentorships and what felt like endless podcast and audio books, I’ve learned to love myself the way God loves me—fully and without condition. I’ve surrounded myself with like-minded people who speak life, hold space, and walk beside me. Authentic friendships have become part of my healing. I’m learning to be me, boldly and gently, one surrendered step at a time.

To You—The Caregiver, The Do-er, The Server, The Warrior, The Overcomer...

If you’re reading this and feel the weight of doing it all—know this: You’re not alone. Healing begins with honesty, with surrender, with small acts of care that point you back to God and to yourself.

You don’t have to earn rest.You don’t have to prove your worth.You are already loved.Already enough.Already held. Let yourself breathe. Let yourself be. Come back to you.

If you would like to connect and learn more about my life coaching and support, I would love to learn more about your story! Let's Connect!

Sending you love and Kindness,

Christina :)

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